My Secret Admirer

I received this letter the other day, as a joke. But it made me laugh pretty hard. Relient K fans, hopefully you'll catch the different references. Here it goes...

Hey Melissa, I need to talk to you about something…

Since I’ve met you, I’ve been speechless. I saw you once, it was enough. Words have ceased to sound the same; my music makes no noise at all. Miley Cyrus refuses to party, even in the USA, until I have you here with me.

So, you asked me what I want? I want you.

You’re fantastic. You’re beautiful, and harmonious, and kind, and generous, and your cupcakes are the BEST, by FAR, and oh! What a thespian you are…

So you see, I’ve felt lost here without you, I’m just looking for a sign. I’ve looked in the past, but it seems I get so hung up on the history of what’s gone wrong, that I can never seem to find what’s right. Sometimes the hope of a new day is hard to see. But, you always see it. And you’ve showed me the way, and I’m finally catching onto it.

For so long the world was cold. It was like this horrible weather, but now, thanks to you, I’m sunny with a high of 75. I was stuck in an arctic tundra of DOOM, a snow king, with no snow queen. But look at you, why would you want a snow queen when you could have something so sunny? You took my heavy heart, and made it light. This is what I truly want – you.

So, Melissa, (kneel at this point) before now, I’ve made a habit of never making promises that aren’t easy to keep. And there you have it; BUT, now I’ll make you one that is! I’ll keep you here with me.

Every second that goes by is just a waste of time if I’m not with you, so, Melissa, will you be my escape?